so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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