Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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