Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
