I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
