I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
