another moral hangover. fuck.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
