hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize