I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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