Nicole vs. Life
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
