Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
