its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
