Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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