i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
