I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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