Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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