what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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