the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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