Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
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I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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