have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
