was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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