I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
