i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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