This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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