As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
