i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
