Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
