My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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