i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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