im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
