Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
