When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
