i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
