What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
