i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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