I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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