I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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