the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
