and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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