Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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