You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
