so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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