I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
