those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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