Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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