Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
