if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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