we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
