great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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