Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
