If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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