Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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