I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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