Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
