I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
