so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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