ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
