clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorry my hands just texted you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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