dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
