glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
