in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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