Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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