We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will be naked everywhere
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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