Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
