Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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