For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
